everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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