glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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