sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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