well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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