these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
