Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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