I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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