found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
