i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
its liver damage thursday
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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