At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
