Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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