my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
