you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
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It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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