Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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