That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
