DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
