i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
