I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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