Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
