Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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