Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
