Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dignity is for republicans.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
