Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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