i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
