im drinking this country out of the recession.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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