i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
