we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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