Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
