He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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