I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
