I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
