i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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