Can Purell be used as lube?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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