I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize