This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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