I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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