Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize