I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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