I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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