I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
