drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
smell my finger.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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