So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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