dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
