Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So squirting runs in the family.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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