im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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