Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
