I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
