If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
