I wannas sexs uuuuu
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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