Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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