I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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