We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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