That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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