i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
