We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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