I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
