Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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