If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
