So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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