i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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